Ideas That Never Meet Paper

We all have them. As writers, we have tons of ideas, and some end up lost. Some become wonderful stories. Some we question. So on.

But one of my biggest struggles is not forgetting ideas, it's actually writing them out.

No matter how much I write, I seem to just dance around what actually goes on inside my head. The way the story looks to me. Ideas make it to paper - just not the big ones that make the story.

At least, not yet. I'm sure they'll get there eventually.

But today I wanted to talk about this struggle. How it feels to have such a vivid imagery in your head of your story and characters, then not see it reflected back when you look at your draft. Because I don't personally see this specific thing mentioned enough in discussions about writing.

This can be so frustrating.

It can be discouraging.

It's often one of the main reasons I ask myself if I am capable of doing my story justice on my bad writing days.

But I also think it's just part of the process. 

The same way a painting comes together. Our lush and vivid scenes have to take shape first.

I'll be the first to admit that I can judge myself too harshly. I think all writers are guilty of that.

So if there's a scene or a project that came to your mind as you read this? Give yourself some grace.

We'll get there.

 Struggles With Editing

The more I edit, the easier it gets. I've finally hit a patch of smooth sailing.

That doesn't mean it's easy.

I remember when I was drafting, learning new skills, how to actually finish a book. Some of the struggles I faced. How they got easier. What I did to overcome writer's block and perfectionism.

Editing is different, but some of those feelings are the same.

I think it's normal that writers doubt their work. I think it's easy for us to get overwhelmed. I think what I'm feeling is valid.

Even when it's drastic.

That doesn't make it easy either.

Learning a new skill, like editing, shouldn't be easy.

Nothing easy is worth it, after all. The such.

I love this book. Enough to write it badly, enough to rearrange it, enough to sit and stare at it when I can't figure out what else to do with it. I always will.

And that is was matters.

I will never give up on this book. I will never give up on myself. I will never give up on writing.

I think I'm starting to be okay with it not being easy. Especially as it gets a little easier with time. I'm still learning.

And that's a good thing.

 Cutting Scenes

I recently just had to cut a good chunk of my book. And it honestly felt like a weight off my shoulders.

The way my book reads for the first few chapters, it jumps between two different kingdoms and two different sets of characters until they cross paths.

I recently cut everything with one of the kingdoms.

It didn't reflect any of the research I had done.

The events that took place did nothing (or very little, or something wrong) for the story.

And my main character didn't really do anything.

As a matter of fact, through most of the book, my main character is pretty passive. It is implied he takes action and makes decisions, but what is never clarified. So it looks like things are just happening around him.

People who have read it often think that my mentor is the main character. 

I'm really not  looking forward to rewriting these chapters. But it feels good knowing what's wrong. 

And it feels good having a sense of direction instead of being lost.

 Summer Goals

When I set goals, I think big.

Goals that are not obtainable short term, if at all.

Why?

Because goals like this motivate me.

I once had a goal to publish my fantasy novel this year, back in 2024. And I'm just now in the first round of developmental edits.

But that goal helped me write a book in three months!

Which I will always be proud of.

With the seasons changing, I'm looking forward to soaking up some sun and changing my mindset a little on editing. Because so far, the negative thoughts regarding these edits have outweighed the positive by a long shot.

But goals aren't just about the things you want to accomplish - they're about habit building. And building healthy habits around editing is what I'm striving for this summer!

Not looking at my first draft with criticism. But with curiosity. Which I already try to do, but I think as writers, it's easy for us to discredit what we've done. And just how far we've come. Especially when it comes to editing.

The editing process is so much different from drafting. As I was drafting this novel, I remember I kept thinking editing was the easy part. I was wrong by a long shot!

Editing is harder to measure. It's harder to see progress with. It's easier to get lost in your own weeds with. There's no big, bold word count staring you down to show you actually did something. At least not all the time.

It's easy to get discouraged while editing. It is while drafting - but with editing, I've found I have this problem come up a lot more.

But you know what? I did it. I wrote a book. And that's awesome! Even when I feel like burning it to the ground.

This summer, I want to be a little nicer to myself and my book. Because we both deserve it.

This summer, I want to finish my plot edits!

This summer, I want to edit for a minimum of one hour a day.

And most importantly, the biggest goal I have for this summer is to show up.

No Such Thing as Bad Writing

As I work on my developmental edits for draft two of this fantasy novel, there's one thing that keeps consistently eating at me:

"This sucks!"

And while, sure, first drafts exist with the purpose to suck, this kind of negative mentality has really felt more like sandbags around my ankles as I try to edit.

The truth is, I'm embarrassed of what I've written.

I think back to people before who told me I couldn't be a writer. Teachers with criticism, people concerned about it not being a career that can sustain me. And I think, "Maybe they were right."

Maybe everything I write will be bad.

Maybe my writing isn't good enough.

Maybe writing isn't worth it.

Then I think of two things - after a deep breath.

1. I think of something my writing coach told me. Which is nobody gets to see what I write without my say. I have to consent for another set of eyes to devour this thing. So it's not like draft one is out in the world - and draft two won't be either. Not unless I say so. That means I can be okay with writing it "poorly."

2. I think of this quote that my editor sent me:

"There is no bad writing. My writing is either great or it is making me great."

I have this quote written on a whiteboard in the middle of my wall. The same wall with all of my drawings for my storyboard, all of my sticky notes, and story planning. 

I already wrote the book.

That's huge. I'm already in that 3%. I've already come so far. And while editing feels like starting over sometimes, it isn't.

The story has already been told. Even if I cringe at the thought of looking back on it, or my editor seeing it - I've told the story for myself. And now I'm connecting it. Shaping it. Giving it a different kind of life.

And when you really think about it? That's kind of awesome.

So, yeah. People have said my writing can't be good enough. Sometimes I let myself believe them.

But only for a moment.

There is no way this book is ready for people to really read it. But at the same time, it is here, and it's real. I can hold it in my hands. I can flip through the pages of it. I can see it.

And I can see that it was always, already good enough.

And that I am good enough to write it.

The reason I write, I always say, is to inspire. Because I know someone needs my words. I know someone will want them. Someone will hang on them.

But honestly? If there was not a single person who would read my work, I don't think I'd stop.

I write for me just as much.

It's important to remember why we do what we do.

So, friends, I urge you today:

Write the book. Or edit it, if you're at that stage like me.

Crochet the blanket.

Sketch the drawing.

Paint the painting.

Play the instrument.

Throw the ball. Or kick it.

Whatever you do? Do it. For you. Because you're good enough to. And try to remember that when you lose sight of the bigger picture.

A Colorful Character Walk!

Editing is paralyzing.

Through my entire first draft, I was so excited to edit. And when I think back to those moments, I wonder why in the world I would ever assume editing was the easy part of all this.

Hi! It's me, Aspen Mars. And today, I write this with pine sitting on my desk - wondering if it's the popcorn my partner scorched in the microwave causing the sizzling scent in my nostrils, or if it's time to blow out my candle. I have sat in my writing space a lot more than normal lately. Which is awesome! What's not-so-awesome is the lack of productivity I've actually yielded from that. But what's important is I'm taking steps in the right direction. Even if my writing space currently smells like someone lit a vanilla flavored hate crime on fire.

Something about my desk has gotten to the point of driving me absolutely insane lately. And I'm not sure why that is. The smell aside. I felt like I was going stir crazy - in the very spot that I'm supposed to own and rock the most. What? That's nuts! And the more I sat, tasks piling, uncompleted, minimum amount of progress made, the worse it got. Because I was staring what I needed to do right in the face. And I knew how to do it - that was the worst part.

Not that I've done those things just yet. But I'll tell you what I have done.

I woke my partner up for his wallet, since my ID lives in there. I grabbed my water, my true love - I mean a can of Dr. Pepper, the car keys, my Hello Kitty Bluetooth speaker, and my 2-in-1 binder that houses the monstrosity I call my novel. Earlier today, the first real step I took was printing out my first draft. I slid it into my binder and brought it, along with my journals, to the park.

And I went on - what I call - a colorful character walk.

The concept for this follows a general color hunt. You pick a color while you're out and about, and then you look for that color around you as you go. During my short walk, I picked two colors. Green and purple. And I picked these colors because they remind me of my character, Fennec.

Recently, my editor (and best friend) Amy, has suggested that I start implementing general inspiration and creativity revolving around writing and my novel into my cycling routine. Since I've been overwhelmed with the editing process and was unsure where to focus. I felt like my attention wasn't in the right place. And Amy suggested reconnecting with writing and my story for what it is.

Amy also was why I ended up referring to a physical copy of my draft. And it helped wonders. You can find her website here if you want the resources I use personally, or to check her out in general!

I'm glad I listened to her. And above all? I'm glad I stepped away from the laptop.

During my walk, I found inspiration in simple things.

I found inspiration in things I had long since forgotten about.

I found receipts from my favorite tavern, where I frequently write, in my planner.

I found a napkin from the same bar I had written progress notes on. Both of these from last year. It helped me reconnect.

I found my words as a reader better, instead of the author.

I found Fennec in the world around me, listening to electronic violin, breathing fresh air that smelled like possibility. Smelled like ideas. Smelled like home. And something very important happened.

I remembered.

Why I write. What people have said about my book. When I printed my first draft, my therapist made a copy to keep, with my permission. She asked me to sign it. She believes in me.

And she's not the only one. She's not even the first. I thought of that on my walk. I thought of a friend telling me my words, my story, made her reconsider an entire genre. I thought of my coach telling me how much she loves my characters. I thought of Amy cheering me on, always, as an editor and friend both. I thought of my beta reader telling me it was an honor to read my work.

Maybe these people need those words, not just now. But when they're done developing, too.

Somebody, somewhere does. I've had people tell me as much. And that's the point.

This book has already accomplished everything I wanted it to. And if it has already done that, could you imagine what it could do when it's finished? Polished to perfection? Published?

Yeah. That's powerful.

So no matter how hard these developmental edits kick me? No matter how they try to knock me down. I will hold my pen. Clutch my keyboard. This book. And I will get it right. Nothing worth it is easy.

And I think I'll go on more walks.

I brought a piece of this one home with me.

Writing Together: Turning Solitude into Shared Success

 Let's Talk Community!

One of the hardest parts of writing, believe it or not, is actually writing. Sounds crazy, right? But it's true. Embracing the suck, the mess, and allowing yourself the space to be vulnerable is HARD! I've learned this year that sometimes it takes someone helping you create that kind of space.

My name is Mars, I am 20 years old and I've been writing since the 4th grade. However, I had never, ever, finished a first draft before. I was too busy burying my head underneath expectations I THOUGHT people would have me and my work. Expectations that didn't matter just yet, despite my good intentions with this thought process. Perfectionism had a tight grip on me. It caused me to scrap several projects with potential beyond belief. It prevented me from ever finishing a story. From ever getting past that first draft.

Until November 21st of this year. And the only reason I can finally say "I DID IT!" was because I had the right tools and the best people pushing me toward my goals.

In all my years of writing, despite my love for it, I never saw myself as a fantasy writer. I had written bits and pieces of the genre in the past, but I never envisioned that I would ever publish anything fantasy. That said, the first draft I finished is a fantasy story, with crazy characters and worldbuilding, and it is one of my proudest creations.

I'll repeat, one of my biggest problems with writing was battling perfectionism. I neglected the drafting process, and I did not nurture my skills and talent. I never even gave myself the opportunity to contemplate participating something that, turns out, I excel in! Often times, I even failed to listen to my intuition as a writer. Which led to premature closer, imposter syndrome, and down-right hating everything I wrote. No story was complete, no idea was ever good enough, and my love for writing felt misplaced. Writing was torturous. It was during this time that I declared writing was strictly a hobby for me, and it wasn't to be taken seriously.

While I'm pretty sure most writers go through this, or at least something similar, it caused me to stop writing for a long while. Entirely. The difference between then now boils down to this:

I credit myself and I allow myself to express and explore my ideas and stories freely.

I set goals, even ones that are outlandish, and I continuously make progress and work toward said goals.

And, arguably most importantly, I have a support system.

If you know me, or anything about me, you probably know that I recently started working with a writing coach. Her name is Rachel Giffin, and I swear she's an angel. It was because of her - and a few a few major life events - that I switched my focus and started taking my "little hobby" seriously again.

It was through Rachel that I met some super awesome people that helped me push through. Each one of them helped me finish this draft - helped me finish a draft for the first time ever. Especially my dear friend, Amy, who actually is writing about this topic with me today. I have her linked here for anyone interested in her insight on this topic. She also links all of our socials at the end of her blog post if you want to connect with us on Instagram.

I met Amy through Rachel's online community. (She has a bunch of resources posted there, and the community is free to join with lots of great features. I have it linked here for anyone interested in checking it out.) I joined the community after Rachel reached out to me on Instagram and sent me the link. It was during office hours, a casual hangout one Friday afternoon, that I met my now best friend, Amy.

We connected. We shared our work and our love of writing. And together, with an awesome community and a fantastic coach holding us up, I finished my first draft and she finished her structural edits.

So the big question… How did we do it?

To put it simply, we worked together. But I know that's probably, like, the least satisfactory answer I could give you, so let's dive into it.

One of the most helpful things I did with Amy was writing together in sprints. These can be done solo, but we found it more productive with two or more people. This way, our friends would hold us accountable and we would make progress, even if it was small.

What is a writing sprint?

To participate in a writing sprint, select a certain amount of time (This can be as little as five minutes or as long as an hour or more) and clear your schedule. This is your time to write and work toward absolutely killing your writing goals. Dedicate this time to your project and minimize distractions. Amy and I usually sprint together at least once a week. Typically, we write in 25 minute sprints at a time until we are satisfied and call it a day. The idea is to (metaphorically) approach your overwhelming story with a plastic fork and make bite-sized pieces of progress. Soon enough, you will have devoured you project and hit your big goal. This makes your work feel easier to tackle, and before you know it, you've accomplished what you've set out to do.

(If you want to join us for writing sessions like this, Rachel hosts them weekly on her community. They're free to attend. As of the time I am writing this, the next one is December 2nd, 2024, and we meet on Mondays! you can find more information on her community website.)

It is also important to just generally support your fellow writers. We all chat about our work and praise each other's ideas all the time. Feeling confident in your writing makes exploring your ideas so much easier and keeps the creativity flowing. We have each other's backs through every line we write. We celebrate each other's success. No, seriously, we celebrate EVERYTHING, big and small. And we always help each other push through the bad times. During our lows, we comfort each other and we work together to identify the problem. Then we solve it.

For example, I recently felt that I just couldn't reach the finish line of my draft - no matter what I did or how many "final scenes" I wrote. When I asked Amy to look over the last ten chapters I had written, she suggested that I already had the ending. Right in front of me. When I gave it some thought, I concluded she was right! And she watched as I fleshed out my final scene for my first draft. After I declared that scene "The End" she left a comment telling me she was "SO PROUD" of what I had accomplished.

Sometimes, just having someone to listen while you talk through your ideas can be enough to solve a problem. (Our community meets casually every Friday to discuss general writing - or to take a break and share other things with each other. We call this "Office Hours" and it's super fun. We also do Open-Mic Nights to share our work in a more professional way!) Giving and receiving support like this is a crucial part of the nurturing process for me, and I feel can be helpful for others too.

The difference I've seen in my work and process since connecting with other writers has been drastic. And while these things may not be every writer's cup of tea, I do feel like tons of writers could benefit from this. I often wonder how many great writers, drenched in potential, are hiding out there. How many of them are in the same boat I was a year ago? How many need their Amy and their Rachel?

This isn't to say I wasn't a good writer before. It is to say that the writer I was before I met these people would have never had the confidence to so much as publish this blog. So, if nothing else…

I want you to know, person to person, you are good enough to do whatever you want. No one can tell your story except you. And writer to writer, I want you to know that you are far too hard on yourself. You will always be your worst critic, as the old saying goes. But please, nurture your skills, talent, and creativity. The best gift you could ever give to yourself is freedom. Freedom from feeling like writing your story is IMPOSSIBLE. I learned the hard way. Sometimes, we just have to to hear it from someone else. Stop holding yourself back with doubt and negativity. Writing isn't perfect. It is flawed, it is scary, and it is personal. It is terrifying to share your work, and more often than not, we either lose sight of the bigger picture - or get lost in it. Both of which can hurt our work. I guess what I'm trying to say is, let me be your support system. If only for this moment.

Go write that book.

You have me cheering you on.