No Such Thing as Bad Writing

As I work on my developmental edits for draft two of this fantasy novel, there's one thing that keeps consistently eating at me:

"This sucks!"

And while, sure, first drafts exist with the purpose to suck, this kind of negative mentality has really felt more like sandbags around my ankles as I try to edit.

The truth is, I'm embarrassed of what I've written.

I think back to people before who told me I couldn't be a writer. Teachers with criticism, people concerned about it not being a career that can sustain me. And I think, "Maybe they were right."

Maybe everything I write will be bad.

Maybe my writing isn't good enough.

Maybe writing isn't worth it.

Then I think of two things - after a deep breath.

1. I think of something my writing coach told me. Which is nobody gets to see what I write without my say. I have to consent for another set of eyes to devour this thing. So it's not like draft one is out in the world - and draft two won't be either. Not unless I say so. That means I can be okay with writing it "poorly."

2. I think of this quote that my editor sent me:

"There is no bad writing. My writing is either great or it is making me great."

I have this quote written on a whiteboard in the middle of my wall. The same wall with all of my drawings for my storyboard, all of my sticky notes, and story planning. 

I already wrote the book.

That's huge. I'm already in that 3%. I've already come so far. And while editing feels like starting over sometimes, it isn't.

The story has already been told. Even if I cringe at the thought of looking back on it, or my editor seeing it - I've told the story for myself. And now I'm connecting it. Shaping it. Giving it a different kind of life.

And when you really think about it? That's kind of awesome.

So, yeah. People have said my writing can't be good enough. Sometimes I let myself believe them.

But only for a moment.

There is no way this book is ready for people to really read it. But at the same time, it is here, and it's real. I can hold it in my hands. I can flip through the pages of it. I can see it.

And I can see that it was always, already good enough.

And that I am good enough to write it.

The reason I write, I always say, is to inspire. Because I know someone needs my words. I know someone will want them. Someone will hang on them.

But honestly? If there was not a single person who would read my work, I don't think I'd stop.

I write for me just as much.

It's important to remember why we do what we do.

So, friends, I urge you today:

Write the book. Or edit it, if you're at that stage like me.

Crochet the blanket.

Sketch the drawing.

Paint the painting.

Play the instrument.

Throw the ball. Or kick it.

Whatever you do? Do it. For you. Because you're good enough to. And try to remember that when you lose sight of the bigger picture.

A Colorful Character Walk!

Editing is paralyzing.

Through my entire first draft, I was so excited to edit. And when I think back to those moments, I wonder why in the world I would ever assume editing was the easy part of all this.

Hi! It's me, Aspen Mars. And today, I write this with pine sitting on my desk - wondering if it's the popcorn my partner scorched in the microwave causing the sizzling scent in my nostrils, or if it's time to blow out my candle. I have sat in my writing space a lot more than normal lately. Which is awesome! What's not-so-awesome is the lack of productivity I've actually yielded from that. But what's important is I'm taking steps in the right direction. Even if my writing space currently smells like someone lit a vanilla flavored hate crime on fire.

Something about my desk has gotten to the point of driving me absolutely insane lately. And I'm not sure why that is. The smell aside. I felt like I was going stir crazy - in the very spot that I'm supposed to own and rock the most. What? That's nuts! And the more I sat, tasks piling, uncompleted, minimum amount of progress made, the worse it got. Because I was staring what I needed to do right in the face. And I knew how to do it - that was the worst part.

Not that I've done those things just yet. But I'll tell you what I have done.

I woke my partner up for his wallet, since my ID lives in there. I grabbed my water, my true love - I mean a can of Dr. Pepper, the car keys, my Hello Kitty Bluetooth speaker, and my 2-in-1 binder that houses the monstrosity I call my novel. Earlier today, the first real step I took was printing out my first draft. I slid it into my binder and brought it, along with my journals, to the park.

And I went on - what I call - a colorful character walk.

The concept for this follows a general color hunt. You pick a color while you're out and about, and then you look for that color around you as you go. During my short walk, I picked two colors. Green and purple. And I picked these colors because they remind me of my character, Fennec.

Recently, my editor (and best friend) Amy, has suggested that I start implementing general inspiration and creativity revolving around writing and my novel into my cycling routine. Since I've been overwhelmed with the editing process and was unsure where to focus. I felt like my attention wasn't in the right place. And Amy suggested reconnecting with writing and my story for what it is.

Amy also was why I ended up referring to a physical copy of my draft. And it helped wonders. You can find her website here if you want the resources I use personally, or to check her out in general!

I'm glad I listened to her. And above all? I'm glad I stepped away from the laptop.

During my walk, I found inspiration in simple things.

I found inspiration in things I had long since forgotten about.

I found receipts from my favorite tavern, where I frequently write, in my planner.

I found a napkin from the same bar I had written progress notes on. Both of these from last year. It helped me reconnect.

I found my words as a reader better, instead of the author.

I found Fennec in the world around me, listening to electronic violin, breathing fresh air that smelled like possibility. Smelled like ideas. Smelled like home. And something very important happened.

I remembered.

Why I write. What people have said about my book. When I printed my first draft, my therapist made a copy to keep, with my permission. She asked me to sign it. She believes in me.

And she's not the only one. She's not even the first. I thought of that on my walk. I thought of a friend telling me my words, my story, made her reconsider an entire genre. I thought of my coach telling me how much she loves my characters. I thought of Amy cheering me on, always, as an editor and friend both. I thought of my beta reader telling me it was an honor to read my work.

Maybe these people need those words, not just now. But when they're done developing, too.

Somebody, somewhere does. I've had people tell me as much. And that's the point.

This book has already accomplished everything I wanted it to. And if it has already done that, could you imagine what it could do when it's finished? Polished to perfection? Published?

Yeah. That's powerful.

So no matter how hard these developmental edits kick me? No matter how they try to knock me down. I will hold my pen. Clutch my keyboard. This book. And I will get it right. Nothing worth it is easy.

And I think I'll go on more walks.

I brought a piece of this one home with me.

Writing Together: Turning Solitude into Shared Success

 Let's Talk Community!

One of the hardest parts of writing, believe it or not, is actually writing. Sounds crazy, right? But it's true. Embracing the suck, the mess, and allowing yourself the space to be vulnerable is HARD! I've learned this year that sometimes it takes someone helping you create that kind of space.

My name is Mars, I am 20 years old and I've been writing since the 4th grade. However, I had never, ever, finished a first draft before. I was too busy burying my head underneath expectations I THOUGHT people would have me and my work. Expectations that didn't matter just yet, despite my good intentions with this thought process. Perfectionism had a tight grip on me. It caused me to scrap several projects with potential beyond belief. It prevented me from ever finishing a story. From ever getting past that first draft.

Until November 21st of this year. And the only reason I can finally say "I DID IT!" was because I had the right tools and the best people pushing me toward my goals.

In all my years of writing, despite my love for it, I never saw myself as a fantasy writer. I had written bits and pieces of the genre in the past, but I never envisioned that I would ever publish anything fantasy. That said, the first draft I finished is a fantasy story, with crazy characters and worldbuilding, and it is one of my proudest creations.

I'll repeat, one of my biggest problems with writing was battling perfectionism. I neglected the drafting process, and I did not nurture my skills and talent. I never even gave myself the opportunity to contemplate participating something that, turns out, I excel in! Often times, I even failed to listen to my intuition as a writer. Which led to premature closer, imposter syndrome, and down-right hating everything I wrote. No story was complete, no idea was ever good enough, and my love for writing felt misplaced. Writing was torturous. It was during this time that I declared writing was strictly a hobby for me, and it wasn't to be taken seriously.

While I'm pretty sure most writers go through this, or at least something similar, it caused me to stop writing for a long while. Entirely. The difference between then now boils down to this:

I credit myself and I allow myself to express and explore my ideas and stories freely.

I set goals, even ones that are outlandish, and I continuously make progress and work toward said goals.

And, arguably most importantly, I have a support system.

If you know me, or anything about me, you probably know that I recently started working with a writing coach. Her name is Rachel Giffin, and I swear she's an angel. It was because of her - and a few a few major life events - that I switched my focus and started taking my "little hobby" seriously again.

It was through Rachel that I met some super awesome people that helped me push through. Each one of them helped me finish this draft - helped me finish a draft for the first time ever. Especially my dear friend, Amy, who actually is writing about this topic with me today. I have her linked here for anyone interested in her insight on this topic. She also links all of our socials at the end of her blog post if you want to connect with us on Instagram.

I met Amy through Rachel's online community. (She has a bunch of resources posted there, and the community is free to join with lots of great features. I have it linked here for anyone interested in checking it out.) I joined the community after Rachel reached out to me on Instagram and sent me the link. It was during office hours, a casual hangout one Friday afternoon, that I met my now best friend, Amy.

We connected. We shared our work and our love of writing. And together, with an awesome community and a fantastic coach holding us up, I finished my first draft and she finished her structural edits.

So the big question… How did we do it?

To put it simply, we worked together. But I know that's probably, like, the least satisfactory answer I could give you, so let's dive into it.

One of the most helpful things I did with Amy was writing together in sprints. These can be done solo, but we found it more productive with two or more people. This way, our friends would hold us accountable and we would make progress, even if it was small.

What is a writing sprint?

To participate in a writing sprint, select a certain amount of time (This can be as little as five minutes or as long as an hour or more) and clear your schedule. This is your time to write and work toward absolutely killing your writing goals. Dedicate this time to your project and minimize distractions. Amy and I usually sprint together at least once a week. Typically, we write in 25 minute sprints at a time until we are satisfied and call it a day. The idea is to (metaphorically) approach your overwhelming story with a plastic fork and make bite-sized pieces of progress. Soon enough, you will have devoured you project and hit your big goal. This makes your work feel easier to tackle, and before you know it, you've accomplished what you've set out to do.

(If you want to join us for writing sessions like this, Rachel hosts them weekly on her community. They're free to attend. As of the time I am writing this, the next one is December 2nd, 2024, and we meet on Mondays! you can find more information on her community website.)

It is also important to just generally support your fellow writers. We all chat about our work and praise each other's ideas all the time. Feeling confident in your writing makes exploring your ideas so much easier and keeps the creativity flowing. We have each other's backs through every line we write. We celebrate each other's success. No, seriously, we celebrate EVERYTHING, big and small. And we always help each other push through the bad times. During our lows, we comfort each other and we work together to identify the problem. Then we solve it.

For example, I recently felt that I just couldn't reach the finish line of my draft - no matter what I did or how many "final scenes" I wrote. When I asked Amy to look over the last ten chapters I had written, she suggested that I already had the ending. Right in front of me. When I gave it some thought, I concluded she was right! And she watched as I fleshed out my final scene for my first draft. After I declared that scene "The End" she left a comment telling me she was "SO PROUD" of what I had accomplished.

Sometimes, just having someone to listen while you talk through your ideas can be enough to solve a problem. (Our community meets casually every Friday to discuss general writing - or to take a break and share other things with each other. We call this "Office Hours" and it's super fun. We also do Open-Mic Nights to share our work in a more professional way!) Giving and receiving support like this is a crucial part of the nurturing process for me, and I feel can be helpful for others too.

The difference I've seen in my work and process since connecting with other writers has been drastic. And while these things may not be every writer's cup of tea, I do feel like tons of writers could benefit from this. I often wonder how many great writers, drenched in potential, are hiding out there. How many of them are in the same boat I was a year ago? How many need their Amy and their Rachel?

This isn't to say I wasn't a good writer before. It is to say that the writer I was before I met these people would have never had the confidence to so much as publish this blog. So, if nothing else…

I want you to know, person to person, you are good enough to do whatever you want. No one can tell your story except you. And writer to writer, I want you to know that you are far too hard on yourself. You will always be your worst critic, as the old saying goes. But please, nurture your skills, talent, and creativity. The best gift you could ever give to yourself is freedom. Freedom from feeling like writing your story is IMPOSSIBLE. I learned the hard way. Sometimes, we just have to to hear it from someone else. Stop holding yourself back with doubt and negativity. Writing isn't perfect. It is flawed, it is scary, and it is personal. It is terrifying to share your work, and more often than not, we either lose sight of the bigger picture - or get lost in it. Both of which can hurt our work. I guess what I'm trying to say is, let me be your support system. If only for this moment.

Go write that book.

You have me cheering you on.

I Finished a First Draft (For the First time!)

I Did It!

On August 21st of 2024, I sat down and began a project. A project that hat was enticing, I admit, but I had no intention of actually finishing it. At first. 

But after I took it to my writing coach (The Wonderful Rachel Giffin) everything changed. Rachel insisted this was the project I needed to focus on, and that this project would be my debut novel. And she was right.

I should slow down. The book isn't published yet, HOWEVER, the story has captivated both my mind and heart. So much so that, even when I was at my very worst, I couldn't stop writing. Aside from that one time Rachel put me on a writing ban for a week, but I digress. There hasn't been a single day, since August 21st, that I haven't thought about this story. There hasn't been a single day that I haven't worked on this novel in some way, shape, or form. Even if it was just exploring ideas in my head. And then lo and behold, on November 21st (exactly three months later, coincidentally) I finished my draft. Which is impeccable timing, if I do say so myself.

I never, in a millions years, saw myself where I am today. And while I'm still not finished smashing through my goals I have set for myself, I need to give myself a hefty pat on the back and take the time to acknowledge one thing:

I did it.

Something I had only ever fantasized about before in silly little daydreams came to life. Because I made it happen. And while I certainly didn't do it alone, I want to talk about my process with my work. The rest will come later.

The big question:

"Mars, how did you do it?"

This question has about a thousand answers. But I'll highlight the basics for you.

I found the tools and resources that were helpful and worked for me.

I paid attention to what I needed, what my writing needed, what helped my process, and what hurt it.

I kicked perfectionism, premature closure, and imposture syndrome to the curb - for good.

I set goals - even if they were bonkers and crazy - and I made progress. No matter how big or small, I kept going.

I let myself be inspired and nurtured my creativity.

I found a support system and connected with other writers. I put myself out there, even when I was scared. I did not let fear stop or consume me.

I listened to what my body, my creative mind, my writing, my friends, and my coach had to say about my project and process. I utilized the tools that I had to work with.

Then, before I knew it, I had a messy, yet beautiful, first draft. Because guess what? That's what first drafts are supposed to look like! That alone took me years to accept.

I owe all the credit in the world, not only to myself for doing it and writing the draft, but to the people who carried me through this journey. The people who saw everything firsthand. The good, bad, and the ugly. Because they were such a huge part of this, I'll be posting another blog soon all about it tomorrow. It will post at 3pm, EST on Thanksgiving. A collaborative piece with my brilliant, very best friend, Amy. Until then, let's better discuss everything else I mentioned.

One thing that my coach taught me that helped me come out on top of all of this was identifying my process and learning how to warp my negative headspace into a safe one. One that allowed me to make mistakes while channeling the good emotions that kept me excited and motivated to work on my draft. Highlighting how starting a new project and embracing new ideas felt helped me later during the times I wanted to give up. When I hated every idea that crossed my mind. Or when the idea of writing my story became a not-so-good thing. We've all been there. Understanding my emotions toward my work, figuring out why I felt the way I did, discovering and addressing the issue, then working toward a solution and getting myself back in that mindset I had when I first started writing the book is how I pushed through.

I used and purchased tools that helped me reform my writing for the better. This, as well as 1 on 1 support from Rachel and my friends, opened countless doors for me. It's crazy how much we already know about of craft that we don't realize we know- and that we aren't digging into and exploring enough. I was informed as I drafted for this novel that I was doing things that I didn't realize were actual writing techniques. After I started listening to my intuition, and opened myself up to learn about these things, I had newfound determination. Desire to see this book through to the end. And all of a sudden, my natural instincts with my draft became skills and tools that I had learned. I used these tools and skills to build amazing pieces of work. (One toolkit that helped me drastically, and continues to do so, is Rachel's Complete Novelist Kit. It is a paid product, but a one-time, affordable purchase. And the first 10 pages of the workbook can be downloaded for free! She also has a character workbook similar to this to help you develop your characters. You can view the products she offers here! Even if you'd just like to see if it's for you or not. If purchasing these tools is not an option for you, Rachel also has tons of free resources on her website that assisted me in this drafting journey!)

With my tools in hand, new skills acquired, and a better understanding of what I was doing, I had to learn to pay attention to my process. I had to learn when it was time to push on, to take a break, to dismiss something, to address something, and what my book needed. I had to figure out how to accept my first draft as just that, in it's raw state and messy glory. I had to learn how to keep myself creative and feed my mind what it wanted. Cycling through different tasks helped with this. To specify, when I felt stuck in one area, I would switch my focus. If I felt I couldn't write, I would plot and outline for a while. If I felt like my project was impossible altogether, I would fuel my creative tank by reading, watching movies or shows, or playing video games. Because not only does this welcome inspiration, the truth is, sometimes we just need a break! Knowing when was vital for my writing routine.

Speaking of routine, I never really stuck to a strict schedule. Granted, I am blessed enough that most of my days are free at any given time. Therefore I can write whenever I please. But namely what helped me make progress was setting more obtainable goals with my timeframe for writing. Rather than setting a goal to write from 6am-10am before starting my day, I would set a goal to instead write for 25 minutes at a time. Rather than setting a huge word count goal, I would set a goal to write 500 words a day. The easier the goals the seemed, the more I thought, "Huh, that won't be hard! I can do that no problem!"

And so I made progress. Consistent progress that added up overtime. Often times even adjusting and surpassing these goals. The thing is, the more you accomplish the little goals, the more your brain trusts you to accomplish goals in general. Therefore, you doubt yourself less. Then, those big goals that you set become possible. They become easier to envision. And you crush them. One of the first goals I set with Rachel was to become a New York Times bestselling author! A year ago, if that idea crossed my mind, I would have thought of how silly it sounded. I would have thought it was a nice daydream, but nothing beyond that. But today, I think of how I'm a thousand steps closer to that list than I was last year. I have another goal to publish this book by the end of 2025. And while that sounds nuts, I have made much more progress working toward that goal than I would have without it. Goals are not always designed to be achieved when you want them to be. But they do set you up and prepare you for success if you let them. Not accomplishing a goal might be disappointing, but if you get caught up in that disappointment, you lose sight of the bigger picture. Something I constantly tell myself is "I can't be a bestselling author without finishing a first draft."

You can't clean up a room that's spotless. You can't edit a draft if there if no mess. You have to give yourself a break, and embrace the bad before you can make it good. You have to keep yourself in good spirits, thoroughly express yourself and ideas, work with yourself and your story, and just create. After you've done that, you can decide that an idea doesn't work the way you thought it would or how you wanted. But shutting down your ideas before you've given them a chance is setting yourself up to come up with less and less of them. Just like shutting yourself before you've had the chance to start will hinder your progress.

It can be terrifying. More often than not, I have felt like a fraud while writing. I thought I wasn't educated enough to do it. I felt that I would never be smart enough to write the book I wanted to write. I would never be a real author without a degree. Nobody would ever think I was smart enough to write books. I wasn't really a writer, I just did it in my free time, strictly for fun, occasionally. There was nothing else to it. I couldn't have new or good ideas. My writing was not worth exploring.

These thoughts were not me. And they certainly were not the truth. Writing (and especially sharing your work) is a lot like handing someone a comically large pair of tweezers, lying on your back, and asking, "Hey, wanna play operation?"

It is no wonder writing comes with so many hoops, hurdles, emotions, breakdowns, doubt - you name it! It is personal. It is precious. But it is worth it! 

What if one person reads your book? What if it changes that one person's life? What if lots of people read you book? What if they all love it?

I learned how to do all of this the hard way - as most of us have or will. It took some tears, it took some helping hands, and a lot of pep talks. But eventually, I figured how to accept my work, my ideas, and most importantly, myself as a writer. I still don't have all the answers. Honestly, I don't think I will ever have all the answers. Because there will always be more to learn. But I have learned that every question has an answer, and every problem, a solution.

Moreover, every book has a reader.

Nobody else can write that book for you. Nobody can tell that story like you can. Not a single person has the same brain as you. Nobody has the same talent, the same skills, the same thoughts, or the same voice. So don't give up. Especially when your journey has only just begun. These methods, skills, techniques, structures - whatever. It can all be taught. Creativity cannot. This was my coach's response when I told her I was inexperienced, a beginner, doubtful, and when I was scared to let myself do what I love doing. Just writing. If you have that spark, stoke your flames and tend to your fire.

I cannot wait to read your book someday soon.

About Me

 An Introduction to Aspen Mars Mitchell (That's Me!)

Hi! I'm so glad you found me! My name is Aspen Mars, and I'm an aspiring author. I'm twenty and was born and raised in East Tennessee. When I'm not writing, I'm probably reading. If neither are the case, you can find me participating in a variety of different arts and crafts, or consuming the same movies and T.V. shows over and over again. 

I often find myself wanting to share so much of my work with others. I also often find myself locking it away behind thick chains, in the darkest corners of my brain and heart, in hopes that nobody will ever see it. Both of those things led me here, to this blog, writing this post in the late evening hours. I write this in the company of my dog, my irreplaceable fiancé, and a somewhat warm cup of coffee. Then, of course, the wildly comforting mess of notebooks, sticky notes and pens - that seem to have some form of consciousness due to the words I have strewn across them.

One thing I value, above anything else, is transparency. Especially with any kind of audience. So let me be transparent, in case even just one person reads this.