Ideas That Never Meet Paper

We all have them. As writers, we have tons of ideas, and some end up lost. Some become wonderful stories. Some we question. So on.

But one of my biggest struggles is not forgetting ideas, it's actually writing them out.

No matter how much I write, I seem to just dance around what actually goes on inside my head. The way the story looks to me. Ideas make it to paper - just not the big ones that make the story.

At least, not yet. I'm sure they'll get there eventually.

But today I wanted to talk about this struggle. How it feels to have such a vivid imagery in your head of your story and characters, then not see it reflected back when you look at your draft. Because I don't personally see this specific thing mentioned enough in discussions about writing.

This can be so frustrating.

It can be discouraging.

It's often one of the main reasons I ask myself if I am capable of doing my story justice on my bad writing days.

But I also think it's just part of the process. 

The same way a painting comes together. Our lush and vivid scenes have to take shape first.

I'll be the first to admit that I can judge myself too harshly. I think all writers are guilty of that.

So if there's a scene or a project that came to your mind as you read this? Give yourself some grace.

We'll get there.

 Struggles With Editing

The more I edit, the easier it gets. I've finally hit a patch of smooth sailing.

That doesn't mean it's easy.

I remember when I was drafting, learning new skills, how to actually finish a book. Some of the struggles I faced. How they got easier. What I did to overcome writer's block and perfectionism.

Editing is different, but some of those feelings are the same.

I think it's normal that writers doubt their work. I think it's easy for us to get overwhelmed. I think what I'm feeling is valid.

Even when it's drastic.

That doesn't make it easy either.

Learning a new skill, like editing, shouldn't be easy.

Nothing easy is worth it, after all. The such.

I love this book. Enough to write it badly, enough to rearrange it, enough to sit and stare at it when I can't figure out what else to do with it. I always will.

And that is was matters.

I will never give up on this book. I will never give up on myself. I will never give up on writing.

I think I'm starting to be okay with it not being easy. Especially as it gets a little easier with time. I'm still learning.

And that's a good thing.

 Cutting Scenes

I recently just had to cut a good chunk of my book. And it honestly felt like a weight off my shoulders.

The way my book reads for the first few chapters, it jumps between two different kingdoms and two different sets of characters until they cross paths.

I recently cut everything with one of the kingdoms.

It didn't reflect any of the research I had done.

The events that took place did nothing (or very little, or something wrong) for the story.

And my main character didn't really do anything.

As a matter of fact, through most of the book, my main character is pretty passive. It is implied he takes action and makes decisions, but what is never clarified. So it looks like things are just happening around him.

People who have read it often think that my mentor is the main character. 

I'm really not  looking forward to rewriting these chapters. But it feels good knowing what's wrong. 

And it feels good having a sense of direction instead of being lost.

 Summer Goals

When I set goals, I think big.

Goals that are not obtainable short term, if at all.

Why?

Because goals like this motivate me.

I once had a goal to publish my fantasy novel this year, back in 2024. And I'm just now in the first round of developmental edits.

But that goal helped me write a book in three months!

Which I will always be proud of.

With the seasons changing, I'm looking forward to soaking up some sun and changing my mindset a little on editing. Because so far, the negative thoughts regarding these edits have outweighed the positive by a long shot.

But goals aren't just about the things you want to accomplish - they're about habit building. And building healthy habits around editing is what I'm striving for this summer!

Not looking at my first draft with criticism. But with curiosity. Which I already try to do, but I think as writers, it's easy for us to discredit what we've done. And just how far we've come. Especially when it comes to editing.

The editing process is so much different from drafting. As I was drafting this novel, I remember I kept thinking editing was the easy part. I was wrong by a long shot!

Editing is harder to measure. It's harder to see progress with. It's easier to get lost in your own weeds with. There's no big, bold word count staring you down to show you actually did something. At least not all the time.

It's easy to get discouraged while editing. It is while drafting - but with editing, I've found I have this problem come up a lot more.

But you know what? I did it. I wrote a book. And that's awesome! Even when I feel like burning it to the ground.

This summer, I want to be a little nicer to myself and my book. Because we both deserve it.

This summer, I want to finish my plot edits!

This summer, I want to edit for a minimum of one hour a day.

And most importantly, the biggest goal I have for this summer is to show up.

No Such Thing as Bad Writing

As I work on my developmental edits for draft two of this fantasy novel, there's one thing that keeps consistently eating at me:

"This sucks!"

And while, sure, first drafts exist with the purpose to suck, this kind of negative mentality has really felt more like sandbags around my ankles as I try to edit.

The truth is, I'm embarrassed of what I've written.

I think back to people before who told me I couldn't be a writer. Teachers with criticism, people concerned about it not being a career that can sustain me. And I think, "Maybe they were right."

Maybe everything I write will be bad.

Maybe my writing isn't good enough.

Maybe writing isn't worth it.

Then I think of two things - after a deep breath.

1. I think of something my writing coach told me. Which is nobody gets to see what I write without my say. I have to consent for another set of eyes to devour this thing. So it's not like draft one is out in the world - and draft two won't be either. Not unless I say so. That means I can be okay with writing it "poorly."

2. I think of this quote that my editor sent me:

"There is no bad writing. My writing is either great or it is making me great."

I have this quote written on a whiteboard in the middle of my wall. The same wall with all of my drawings for my storyboard, all of my sticky notes, and story planning. 

I already wrote the book.

That's huge. I'm already in that 3%. I've already come so far. And while editing feels like starting over sometimes, it isn't.

The story has already been told. Even if I cringe at the thought of looking back on it, or my editor seeing it - I've told the story for myself. And now I'm connecting it. Shaping it. Giving it a different kind of life.

And when you really think about it? That's kind of awesome.

So, yeah. People have said my writing can't be good enough. Sometimes I let myself believe them.

But only for a moment.

There is no way this book is ready for people to really read it. But at the same time, it is here, and it's real. I can hold it in my hands. I can flip through the pages of it. I can see it.

And I can see that it was always, already good enough.

And that I am good enough to write it.

The reason I write, I always say, is to inspire. Because I know someone needs my words. I know someone will want them. Someone will hang on them.

But honestly? If there was not a single person who would read my work, I don't think I'd stop.

I write for me just as much.

It's important to remember why we do what we do.

So, friends, I urge you today:

Write the book. Or edit it, if you're at that stage like me.

Crochet the blanket.

Sketch the drawing.

Paint the painting.

Play the instrument.

Throw the ball. Or kick it.

Whatever you do? Do it. For you. Because you're good enough to. And try to remember that when you lose sight of the bigger picture.